Past Pizza Pastime

I see lots of posts on strangest experiences while working in a restaurant, here are some of mine from 45 years ago when I worked at a Pizza Hut during college.
1. The manager after dealing with college kids as employees would choke down 20 aspirin at a time. No word on where he finally bled to death
2. The college professor and his date who would always show up at 1:50 AM and order a supreme and two pitchers of beer and then sit there for two hours while we stacked chairs, mopped the floor around them and played loud music on the juke box. Every Friday night
3. The guy who always complained bitterly that our pizza wasn’t spicy enough but kept coming back for more, so one night we put a pile of those nasty little dried red peppers under each pepperoni on his pizza and got no reaction when he ate it other than when he left he said, “ you finally got it right on the spices.”
4. Having your head and arm in the oven reaching for a pizza in the back of the oven when someone quickly pulls the front door of the restaurant open effectively removing all of your eyebrows and arm hair
5. Being able to tell how long someone had worked there by the scars on their arm from the oven door
6. Realizing that the baking pans were never washed
7. Making a pizza for the drunk, after he crashed into a corner of the building, while he waited for the police
8. Driving all the way to the bank and reaching for the night deposit on the seat next to you then realizing that you put it on top of the car before you got in. Amazingly it had enough quarters that it was still there
9. Seeing who could avoid making an anchovy pizza as the smell would absolutely not come off your hands (yes me made food with our hands uncovered)
10. Seeing another worker slice the tip of his thumb off in the kitchen cheese slicer and never finding it.
11. Working the day shift alone and watching a school bus full of hungry teenagers pull into the parking lot
12. Pouring pitchers of dark beer and putting ice in it so it looked like coke
13. Avoiding putting at least one payment through the cash register so you could have quarters to play the juke box during cleanup
14. Ringing up at least on pizza order on the carry out beer key
15. Realizing that a large supreme pizza cost $3.15
16. The shift was 4 to 4 at $1.13 per hour and people didn’t tip in pizza restaurants.
17. Finishing a shift in January ,the last one out, door locks behind you, car won’t start, cell phones didn’t exist and realizing that you are either going to freeze to death or have to pay twice what you just made in a 12 hour shift to have someone come and start your car after you walked 2 blocks to the nearest pay phone ( one of those antiques things that you have to put a quarter in)
18. Opening a bad can of mushrooms
19. Dicing onions that squished instead of clicked
20. Getting to wear a red checked shirt to match the red checked table cloths
21. Learning how to fold a sack to hold a pizza… Pizza hut didn’t use boxes back then
22. Getting an order for 50 pizzas from the law library at 1 AM
23. Watching the ingredients change from sausage, to sausage with textured vegetable protein added, to vegetable protein with sausage added
24 Yes the sauce ingredients were secret. We had goody bags, unlabled plain brown paper that were added to each batch of sauce no questions asked.

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By History’s Measure

It occurred to me this morning by myself in the quiet while riding on a very up and down curvy street probably laid out on what was originally a wagon trace that the reason everything in the media is aggrandized as the greatest, worst, first, or last, is because the writers and talking heads were never taught or never listened to the history of the their country, the world, or their own people.

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The Cannonization of the new Patron Saint of Boxing

As I watch the typically overdone canonization of Ali. I would wonder how Mohammed Ali’s pleas of conscientious objector due to his non-violent Muslim religion and membership in the Nation of Islam might play out in today’s courts. And I will have to admit I always wondered how a person who earned their living by beating the crap out of people could be considered non-violent.

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Summer Learning Activities

I see that parents are being bombarded with ” Summer Learning” activities. The best summer activity is that you should throw the kids out of the house at 8:00 let em back in at noon to eat lunch and then call them in for a 1/2 hour of dinner then send em back out until the street lights turn on. Will they get in trouble? possibly. Will they get hurt? possibly,
Will they get dirty and drink out of an unsanitary garden hose? certainly. Will they be kidnapped by a sexual pervert? most probably not. The one thing that will happen is that they will learn about life relationships, and how the world really works from each other far better than they will at a day camp, from their phones or any adult organized “learning activity.”

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John Godfrey Saxe – The Blind Men and the Elephant

i.

IT was six men of Indostan 
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind), T
hat each by observation Might satisfy his mind.

ii.

The First approached the Elephant, 
And happening to fall Against his broad and sturdy side, 
At once began to bawl: “God bless me!—
but the Elephant Is very like a wall!”

iii.

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried:”Ho!—what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp? 
To me ‘t is mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant Is very like a spear!”

iv.

The Third approached the animal, And happening to take The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!”

v.

The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
“‘T is clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!”

vi.

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”

vii.

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”

viii.

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

moral.

So, oft in theologic wars
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen

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Fences

When it comes to fences both mental and physical two things always come to mind, first Chesterton who says in, ” “The Drift from Domesticity”:

In the matter of reforming things, as distinct from deforming them, there is one plain and simple principle; a principle which will probably be called a paradox. There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, “I don’t see the use of this; let us clear it away.” To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: “If you don’t see the use of it, I certainly won’t let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it.

The second is Robert Frost ” Mending a Wall”

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
‘Stay where you are until our backs are turned!’
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, ‘Good fences make good neighbors’.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
‘Why do they make good neighbors? Isn’t it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I’d ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That wants it down.’ I could say ‘Elves’ to him,
But it’s not elves exactly, and I’d rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father’s saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, “Good fences make good neighbors.”

Somewhere between the two lies the answer!

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The World In Eclipse

In the past when there was a full eclipse and darkness covered the world many people thought that the world was ending and so in fear of the unknown they turned to their leaders and asked them to save the world for them. And the leaders spoke words or sacrificed their own people and the world was saved and no one realized that it would have been saved anyway because they didn’t give the light a chance to return on its own, preferring instead to rely on words and useless artifice instead of their own knowledge.

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