Santa III – The Molester

Coming soon to a theater store or mall near you!

I believe that our legal system and our media have made us afraid of virtually everything from weather, to child abduction, to eating butter on popcorn.   These media based fears are being constantly stoked by too much  awareness and too little understanding.  I fear that the stories below show that  we  may have just pulled some of  the last straws and they were the short ones.

First sign that the apocalypse is upon us.

The Associated Press has reported that a man in Montana has received an award of around $100,000  for injuries  he received in a fall  after he rode his motorized bicycle in the winter cold, at night, in notoriously flat Montana,  on a  trail where motoroized vehicles were prohibited and fell on some ice.  The eventual results of this  award in this patently ridicuous law suit  will be one of three things, all involving a loss of general public use and money.  They could put in camera surveillance on the bike trail, consider  human foot patrols on snowshoes to control bike riders in the winter, or as is more likely in our society, they will, to protect the city coffers from one idiot and his brethren tear out the bike trail so that no one, no matter how careful and deserving they may be,  can ever use it again and by doing so  totally protect the city from idiot liability and predatory lawyers while at the same time robbing the general public of yet one more enjoyable freedom.

Second Sign that the apocalypse is upon us

I just caught the end of a story, sorry I do not know the source and was unable to find it, where someone has  recommended that mall and department store Santa’s no longer have children sit on their knee for fear of potential child molestations, child endangerment charges,  and lawsuits.

Winston Churchill said it best when he said , ” We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Fear and “zero tolerance” risk aversion is going to do  to our country what outside forces could never do, first paralyze  it and then  destroy  it.

Such a little thing to worry about you may say and  it is true.  But it is also true that the last straw  breaks the camel’s back and each straw counts in the total no matter how small each individual straw may be.

I can see a future where the mall Santa says, ” Stand over there by the camera(a profit center) Ha,Ha,Ha , be watchful for ice and snow in the mall as it is winter time Ha, Ha, Ha,  and call me on your cell phone to give me your “Holiday  Ha, Ha, Ha, ” list, “Ha,Ha,Ha!.

Santa now laughs “Ha, Ha, Ha,” instead of  “Ho, Ho, Ho,” because “Ho, Ho, Ho,”  was felonized in 2013  after it was identified by the office of the Speech Czar to be offensive euphemistic  hate speech aimed at  “sexual satisfaction technicians and providers. “


About safrisri

I was a school teacher until retirement. I have taught at all educational levels from pre-school to college. My college degree is general science which I arrived at after 5 years and 5 different majors. A degree as it turns out, almost as valuable and in demand as one in Neo-Bulgarian Mythology. I have been around education for around 40 years and can remember when teaching was a pleasant, happy and creative job and our schools were the same. Now I'm the guy sitting on the porch with an opinion on everything.
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