Andy Rooney Impression


You know it really didn’t bother me when they started bending bars of soap and cupping the back side so that you wouldn’t notice that you were getting less soap for more money because if you just take half as many showers you won’t notice it at all although others may.  This is ignoring the fact that the strangely shaped soap doesn’t stay on the soap dish very well anymore.

It didn’t really bother me when they started pushing up the bottom of almost all glass containers  into the inside of the bottle so that they looked the same size but contained less, although I am concerned about beer glasses which used to be 12 oz. and are now often only 7 oz.

It didn’t bother me that much when a 5 lb bag of sugar became a 4 lb bag and no one noticed although dentists may have been concerned about profit margins.

Nor did it  bother me too much when paper towel manufacturers started making their sheets 1/2 as large and at the same time  started advertising twice as many sheets on a roll and yogurt manufacturers started selling whipped yogurt for more money than plain yogurt when in fact they had added absolutely free air and charged you for it.

It didn’t bother me when I discovered that the message emblazoned on the dry roasted peanuts inside of a “green” symbol  that told me that 20% less plastic was used in the container  until I discovered that the container was 20% smaller and had 20% less product inside as well.

The final straw was toilet paper. I was upset but not too upset when they down-sized the rolls width-wise about 20% from around 5 inches wide to about 4 inches wide even though it now looks a little like what you might expect in a 3rd world country when placed on fixtures  designed for wider paper. Nor did it bother me too much when they started using multi sheet fluffed paper, “for comfort,” that also involved less paper.  but it did bother me when a few months later I noticed that they expanded the cardboard tube on the inside of the roll.  It changed  from around an inch to about 2 inches in diameter, maintaining the rolls  apparent outward size while reducing the paper on the roll significantly.

Too me it is not as much that we are getting around 35% less paper for the money but  because it is one visible sign that unless we get this turned around price pressures may drive a continuing decline in what we get for what we pay.  Has anyone else noticed how  much more quickly the toilet paper roll disappears now than it used to. I mean this is important… “you,  in the bathroom, a house full of guests, new rolls in storage just a living room away and a cardboard tube with one little wisp of fluffy detritus still attached noticed way too late and staring you in the eye un-winkingly from its place on the too large, soon to be antique, paper holder.

This  problem of the empty rolls  apparently  never happens to the happy bears in the Charmin commercial or they wouldn’t be that happy. Perhaps they don’t have teenagers who rarely follow the unwritten golden  rule of bathrooms , ” if you use the last sheet……” In regards to that rule I have a sneaking suspicion that many of my family members carefully leave only one 4 inch square on the roll to avoid this rule.  Of course in the case of the Charmin bears perhaps the little bits of paper stuck to their rear ends might be an emergency supply if we don’t consider how they came to be stuck there.

Please think about it and start noticing.  the size of virtually everything you buy( with the exception of fast food and the size of Starbucks Coffee – those prices went up instead) has shrunk  in amount per container over the past few years. You will notice this when you get out grandma’s recipe for no-fail fudge and discover that chocolate chips no longer come in that size nor does the condensed milk you need to use.  I haven’t anything to compare the weight of marshmallows to but I would bet they contain more air than they used to.

This is not happening because we have become more ecologically oriented it is happening because business either thinks that you don’t care or more likely that you will ever notice what they are doing.

Every straw is important they all work together to break the camels back not just the last one!  There used to be a right-wing screed about communism defeating us from within. Communists are not the problem, we are!

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About safrisri

I have been a teacher since 1971 and have taught at all educational levels from pre-school to college. My college degree is general science which I arrived at after 5 years and 5 different majors. A degree as it turns out, almost as valuable and in demand as one in Neo-Bulgarian Mythology. I have been around education for around 40 years and can remember when teaching was a pleasant, happy and creative job and our schools were the same. My writings will reflect on my past mistakes and successes and what my students have taught me about education.
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2 Responses to Andy Rooney Impression

  1. Lynn says:

    I don’t usually leave the last little snippet of paper on the roll without changing it, but occasionally I am in a big rush and don’t take time to replace it. I’ll try to do better! Andy Rooney would love this – only wish he was here to make sure your comments were shared world-wide! Maybe then there would be a huge uprising or stage-in and we could get our TP back to normal size! The TP shrinkage has made me angry for waaaaaay too long!

  2. thelastgasp1 says:

    I am glad to see you have picked up Andy’s gauntlet!!

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