I am sometimes a bit of a curmudgeon colored by a weird sense of the world that often just doesn’t see what other people see, at least not at the same time. This Christmas I received the following books from those who for better or worse probably know me the best. Judge for yourself who I am.
“Senior Moments” by Finer – Unfortunately I can’t remember what it is about
“The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm” by Napoli _ Oh Sure
“Blackboard Blunders” by Benson – I can wipe the slate clean on this one
“How to Write a Sentence” by Fish – Judge for yourself.
“I Remember Nothing” by Ephron – About what
“Butt Rot and Bottom Gas” by Grover – I don’t really have any interest in jazz musicians
“The Book of General Ignorance” by Lloyd and Hitchinson – Covers General Chaos, Major Disaster Admiral Refrigerators, The French Lieutenants Woman and Corporal Punishment as well.
“The Hairy Drawing Book” by Mc Dowell – I always thought you drew straws and split hairs.
“The Know it All” by Jacobs – Worthless for those of us who already do.
Topped off by
“The Zombie Survival Guide” by Brooks – This book lead to several discussions on of all days, Christmas Day, which centered around the fact that, according to the book, apparently zombies can’t swim so an island seemed the perfect refuge until someone brought up ice and then someone else wondered why zombies only attack in the summer time as there doesn’t seem to have been any reported zombie attacks or movies that have zombies appearing in the winter time. At which point someone else wondered if zombies would be slower in the winter anyway as they are apparently “ cold blooded” or would they just freeze in position and wait for summer to resume rotting them and if that’s true would the zombie life span be longer in the north that the south because of the rotten winter break? And on and on it went
These book choices probably don’t paint a pretty picture of me but in retrospect it is apparent that my children and wife probably know me better than I would wish.