Crows, Swearing, and the Iowa Caucuses

Some “Gems” from Iowa  Pre-caucus TV ads… I am not making this up!

“As President I will repeal Obama Care the first day in office”   Not a power of the executive branch the last time I checked.

“As President I will do away with 2,3, or 5  federal agencies(depending on the candidate) while creating millions of jobs.  HMMMMMM how about the people whose jobs you just did away with. Probably the same jobs  our current president claimed to have  “Saved”

“I have created  1, 3 or amazingly 11 million jobs”  Oh aren’t statistical interpretations wonderful.  Have you ever wondered how many jobs were lost during the same time period?

” Various statements professing religious fidelity coming “before” service to the country as a whole”  I seem to remember something in some document written by someone important about “separation of church and state.,”

“I will balance the budget in 1,3 or 4 years depending on the candidate.” Ain’t gunna happen no matter who is elected because the way you get re-elected is making people happy no matter how much it costs and the proof that it will not happen is in what is being said and done right now to get elected in the first place.

“I will bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities.”   At least the candidate did not say, ” on their first day in office. ”

Every four years for a period of several months leading up to the Iowa Caucuses  I don’t  completely recognize my home state. This year the usually tolerable political circus associated with the election cycle  has regressed and morphed  from an at times laughably entertaining three-ring circus into a dirty walk down a  mean, cheap, demeaning carnival midway full of freakish  side-shows and candidates talking like a carny wearing Alan Panes, combat boots, flip-flops, or bare feet depending on the audience.  Actually although all candidates seem to change their shoes often it seems that  most candidates actually prefer  sneakers whenever possible.

The political ads and positions have become more and more bizarre and fantastical. Often embellished with very questionable statistics, electronic wizardry, market/poll  driven outlandish claims and a stridency that no thinking person other than a professional wrestler should ever find acceptable as part of any decision-making process.

I have watched as the Republicans this year have embarked on a program that reminds me most of  wild animals eating their own young. I should note that this art was perfected by  the Democrats during their last primary election. and they would probably be doing the same thing if their candidacy was currently contested,.

I am an Iowan born and raised and  I like my home state even if it doesn’t have mountains, year around warm temperatures  or an ocean.  I like it  because it is generally a sane, safe, accepting place with people of all stripes respecting and defending the rights and  opinions of others no matter how disagreeable.  Such is our state that one  of our elected officials in Washington  is often  labeled as ” a bleeding-heart left-wing radical” while another, is often referred to as  ” a far-right,  wing nut.” I believe that both descriptions are not too far off the mark but the point is that  they were both elected by the people of the same state. Iowa as a political animal is almost indefinable which  opens windows into the candidates ideas that don’t always appear in other places.

As I watch the current crop of  freak show political ads on TV and endure the nightly parade of political phone calls, I wonder if I have totally misjudged my neighbors or the politicians have?  I fervently hope that it is the candidates who have misjudged Iowa and not the other way around.    I  am reminded of Groucho Marx’s comment which I believe is applicable to our political parties at the present time when he said  “I would not be a member of any club (political party) that would accept me as a member.”

Our  political process has become so Machiavellian that apparently  everyone involved,   accepts the credo from ” The Prince,”  that states the “Ends justify the means.”  Politicians apparently believe that the lies, bad stats, half-truths and wanton disregard for civility will be forgotten by the time the general election rolls around  and unfortunately history tends to support that thesis.  This political blitzkreig in Iowa leading up to the  caucuses alternatively, saddens and frightens me with its intensity of purpose and lack of respect for the intelligence and  honesty of  the voters who are their  potential future constituents.  The political noise level is so high it is  almost as if both MSNBC and Fox News are on the radio at the same time and the volume control is in the hands of a deaf chimpanzee while the writers for both networks are flatworms.

This year more than ever the Iowa political run up to the  fall elections may be aptly named.  I now define the  word caucus  as one-half   “crow call.” A crow is  a large raucous bird often attracted  to worthless shiny objects whose call is “Caw Caw,” a sound that is also in this case may also be fittingly used as a euphemism for an item often associated with diapers. The second half of caucus is Cuss or  just plain “swearing” ( Caw Cuss). I can only hope that the ones that caw the loudest will end up cussing the most after  consuming themselves with their own rhetoric. In the process producing a perfect Shakespearean tragedy, with a truly ironic twist, that ends not with triumphant crowing of victory but instead just simply,  “eating crow.”


For more about Iowa  This has some bad language in it but it is informatative


About safrisri

I was a school teacher until retirement. I have taught at all educational levels from pre-school to college. My college degree is general science which I arrived at after 5 years and 5 different majors. A degree as it turns out, almost as valuable and in demand as one in Neo-Bulgarian Mythology. I have been around education for around 40 years and can remember when teaching was a pleasant, happy and creative job and our schools were the same. Now I'm the guy sitting on the porch with an opinion on everything.
This entry was posted in 2012 Elections, humor, politics, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Crows, Swearing, and the Iowa Caucuses

  1. “I will bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities.” God help us…

    Greatly said and a well written response to the circus that is known as “American politics” (The election is being covered in Canada as well and I’m certain it is more entertaining than an episode of Jersey Shore).

    • safrisri says:

      Unfortunately the “I will bomb” quote was not made up. Fortunately the person who made the statement came in a 5 in a 6 person race. When it is all said and done it usually works and Iowa is not a group of red necked rubes as it is often painted in the media. I always notice the hay bales in the background of news reports…. Very few farmers in Iowa make small rectangular bales of hay anymore but that is what is expected so that is what the media produces. As I watch the circus I become a bigger fan of the parliamentary form of elections rather than the set date every 4 years if for no other reason the reduction in the time given to the campaign is more limited. I received 13 phone calls yesterday from 6 different candidates and pacs. The whole thing is crazy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s