Cougars, Chargers, and PC’ In The Wild

A Canyon City Utah school board has apparently overridden the student choice of “Cougars” for the new high school mascot saying they did it because the term was offensive to women. They summarily replaced the student choice, selected by a student body election, with “Chargers” but nobody on the board  seemed to be concerned about offending or demeaning people with too much credit card debt, working in the battery department at Sears Automotive or horse people who don’t like their nobel steeds compared to high school students.

It started me wondering what other team names might be offensive and whom they would offend.  Let’s take a look at the Big 10 Conference  which now has 12 teams and the Big 12 Conference which now has 10 teams so in the spirit of the rest of this just, ” go figure.”

The Baylor “Bears” could  be offensive and insensitive to nudists, grizzlies, people on sinking boats, stock brokers and the Berenstain’s

The nickname Oklahoma “Sooners” might offend people who were constantly late and might cause emotional distress  because it could be confused with “mooners” and Nooners.

Iowa State “Cyclones” could be offensive or demeaning to those living in hurricane alley, cloned animals or sad clowns

Iowa “Hawkeyes” could be callous and offensive to near-sighted people, sales people and certainly all birds of prey

Michigan State “Spartans” no doubt would be offensive to Greeks,  surviving members of the other city states and could be easily confused with the sexually charged Trojans

Texas “Longhorns” might be characterized as a put down  to piccolo players, cattle ranchers and demeaning to polled Herefords

Missouri “Tigers” could be offensive to wives,  golfers,  garage sale purveyors, and   people who label pictures on Facebook

The Purdue “Boilermakers” nickname   could be pejorative to factory workers or bartenders and certainly would offend Staphylococcus aureus. the bacteria that causes “boils.”

Indiana “Hoosiers” might offend immigrants, swindlers, white trash or “hicks”( look it up)  but most importantly offends people who can’t remember their children’s names

Michigan “Wolverines” might be offensive  to mutants and is certainly unfeeling to the sensitivities of helpless little bunnies everywhere

Minnesota “Gophers” would offend gaffers, golfers, goofers, and all living members of the   Geomyiday and all Cratageomys because nobody wants a gopher in their “pocket.”

Kansas State “Wildcats” is probably just as  offensive as Cougars and might be offensive to the cougars themselves.

Kansas “JayHawks” is offensive to pet stores and chicken ranchers everywhere, certainly demeans surviving abolitionists, and given their recent record in football  is offensive to  pillagers and raiders everywhere.

Wisconsin ” Badgers” might be offensive and demeaning  to people bothered by bill collectors or long-suffering husbands

Penn State “Lions” might be offensive to serial liars….. take this wherever you want

Oklahoma State “Cowboys”would be offensive to Cowgirls, cows, and certainly boys.  Can you picture a “cow”, “boy” in your mind..not to mention a cowgirl

Texas Christian “Horned Frogs”… nuf said besides too many possibilities to report here

West Virginia Mountaineers could be offensive to people with large ears Might want to work on Virginia as well

All of the above are pure supposition but there is  one thing I do know for sure as an Iowan I know that the 

Nebraska “Corn Huskers”  do and does  offend Iowans

Soon all team mascot  names will be just initials, names of internal organs, in Latin  or pronouns.  The Kansas Kidneys or Penn State P.U’s or Iowa “I”s  just have that certain memorable ring to them and who could forget a name like the  Iowa State Illegitimi.


About safrisri

I was a school teacher until retirement. I have taught at all educational levels from pre-school to college. My college degree is general science which I arrived at after 5 years and 5 different majors. A degree as it turns out, almost as valuable and in demand as one in Neo-Bulgarian Mythology. I have been around education for around 40 years and can remember when teaching was a pleasant, happy and creative job and our schools were the same. Now I'm the guy sitting on the porch with an opinion on everything.
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One Response to Cougars, Chargers, and PC’ In The Wild

  1. Great post! I’m an elementary school teacher with a snow day. Yeehaw!

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