Eleven Ways to make the next debate better!
1. Five of the questions would be multiple choice as befits a test-crazed society and would include “none of the above as one of the foils. A statistical analysis of the moderator’s skills would be published in the papers the next morning based on the candidate’s answers.
2. Five of the questions must be answered with, ‘Yes”, “No,” or “uhhhhh”
3. A panel consisting of five ex-American Idol judges would be on the side of the stage rating each answer and tweeting their feelings.
4. A sound proof penalty box would be placed between the two candidates. A play clock visible to both the audience and the candidate would be placed over the moderator’s chair
5 This sound proof penalty box would feature one way glass so that the candidates could not be seen by the audience but would be able to look out
Candidates would be placed in the box for:
A. Not answering the question asked
C. Answer/Play clock violation
6. Play clock infractions, interrupting, and failing to answer the question asked would result in two minutes in the sound-proof penalty box unable to hear and respond to anything the other candidate said. The non-penalized candidate could continue saying what ever they had memorized to say before the debate, just as they had in response to all the previously asked questions.
7. Five questions during the debate would be asked while the candidate’s chairs were turned backwards so that you could only hear their voice
8. A five year old would be an assistant moderator. They would sit next to the moderator and would continually ask “Why” as a follow up question.
9. The moderator. An 8th grade middle school teacher with experience in dealing with lying and obfuscation would continue asking the same question until the candidate answered it as judged by either the teacher or a panel of Tibetan Monks.
10. A national flash poll would be conducted during each candidate’s response and be flashed up on the candidate’s podium at the one minute mark so that they could moderate their response half way through their time.
11. Both candidates would wear Jack Nicholson or Popeye masks.